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| *trying to lose weight |
Last night I was talking to my mom and she said, "You seem to be a bit obsessed about your weight." She's probably right. I think what I'm really obsessed with is food. I think about food all the time. All. The. Time. When I wake up I think about breakfast. I finish breakfast and I'm thinking about lunch. I think about dinner all afternoon. At the end of the day, I think about what I'll eat the next day. If there is food in the office, I always look at it. Sometimes I can walk away, sometimes I can't. Sometimes I'll eat what I find even if I'm not hungry; I'll eat it because it's there. I basically have no chill when it comes to food.
I have been overweight most of my life. When I was a kid, I spent the summers with my grandparents in California and my grandma and my aunt loved me with food. If I wanted a hot dog, they gave me three, which I ate. Cookies, pies, cakes, donuts...all I had to do was ask. I didn't learn moderation or abide by the food pyramid.
Poor eating habits continued through high school and college. I didn't eat salads until I was in my 30s. I still don't eat many fruits or vegetables. I never developed a taste for them, although I eat way more fruits and veggies now than I ever have, and that's not saying much. On the other hand, about the only dessert I don't like is custard.
So because I have this obsession with food, I have become hyper-aware of my weight. Back in 2008, I was at my heaviest and I finally made the decision to join Weight Watchers. I've dropped 50 pounds and even though some came back, I got rid of it again, and I don't want it back. I'm still over 200 lbs, but "Onederland" (being in the 100s instead of the 200s) is in my sights and it is my most cherished goal at this time.
Please forgive me if I talk about food and my weight often. I'm gonna keep doing it.
1 comment:
I totally understand, just keep on trying! The best thing to do is not to deny yourself, just eat a small portion of anything you crave, and no seconds (my mother's advice, which I obviously didn't follow, but it makes sense}. Even using smaller plates help. I am trying to keep the weight off that I lost in the past couple of months.
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