I've been feeling sort of "off" today and I think it's because my day didn't start off well. It wasn't a bad start, really, but it wasn't great, either.
When my alarm went off this morning, I hit snooze, which isn't unusual. When the alarm went off again, I decided that I wanted sleep more than I wanted exercise, so I actually set my alarm forward and slept for about 40 more minutes. I'm ok with that; I think it's important to listen to your body and heed what it tells you. But not going to the gym did kind of throw me off the regular rhythm of my morning.
I always eat breakfast. Today I didn't. Nothing sounded or looked good. I drank some juice and took my meds and vitamins.
When I dropped T off at school, there was a man sitting in a parked car right in the drop-off lane. He was causing the cars to back up all the way to the end of the driveway. I was right behind him, so it took me forever to get out of there. No one in the other lane would let me in. Now, I drive a big orange truck. I could have inserted myself, but that's not my style. I signaled and sat there, growing more and more irritated with the dude who was parked in the STUDENT LOADING ZONE. I even rolled down my window to let him know my feelings, but I chickened out when I saw all the tattoos on his arms and his slicked-back hair. But, man, did I let him have it when I was safely past him and my windows were rolled up and I was on my way out of the parking lot.
About half a block later, I thought to myself, "Jeez! Get over it! You're on the road and everything is fine and yeah, the guy's a jackass, but it's over now. Don't let him ruin your day."
And mostly I didn't, but the memory was there all day.
Work was work. It's busy and I think I may have mentioned the new software that kinda sucks and at times has nearly made me lose my will to work at the company. The worst part is that I'm not completely confident that I'm doing things right. I can't really count on the fact that no one has told me I'm doing anything wrong because I'm not really sure anyone else knows if anything is right.
And I've been working late every day. It makes me more and more thankful and anxious to get away for vacation. I'm starting to feel a little resentful of my work. I really just need a bit of a break to refresh and refuel and regain my swagger.
I finally get home and I think I'm going to be just in time for "Glee", but then T tells me that it's starting an hour later than I expected, which should be fine because I actually would have missed the first 10 minutes or so, but I'm a little annoyed because I had the evening all worked out in my head and it involved "Glee" getting over around 8:00 and not 9:00. But that's ok.
It was the season finale of "Glee" and I cried during every song, because I am that emotional and at the end, I was practically sobbing. I couldn't cry out loud, though, because I didn't want T to get annoyed with me and my girl-y sniveling. It made me feel better when T said, "Well, that was just f'd up. It was sad."
Here's where I let out a big sigh and say that I've had just about enough of this day. I'm ready to take out my contacts, wash my face and climb into bed so I can read more about Meredith and Connie and Toby and Dan (I love Elin Hilderbrand's books!), get a good night's sleep and do/be better tomorrow.
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