#688 feeling special

I felt pretty special today. I received this magnificent gift of a dozen chocolate covered strawberries, along with a few chocolate dipped cookies, from some of the guys I work with. Those guys are the best!

I try not to talk too much about my work here. Work is a big part of my life, but it's certainly not the only part and I don't want to be a person who is just about where they work or what they do. But...I've worked at the same place for 16 years now and it's mostly been really good. The people I work with are exceptional and the people are what makes the nonsense tolerable because we are all going through it together.

On Wednesday, the day the I was cranky, I had just come to the absolute end of my rope with the new software program we are using. We went from an outdated but functioning system to a brand new, don't-quite- have-all-the-bugs-worked-out-yet-but-we-are-going-to-change-just-about-everything-you-know-oh-and-we- don't-actually-have-the-personnel-to-show-you-how-to-use-it-but-we'll-work-on-that system. I was trying to do something for the first time and using the instructions that were provided, but it seems that a key part of the directions on how to get to the actual module were missing. I couldn't find it for anything.

I started working up a head of steam. I am a red-head after all and I do sometimes have a bit of a temper. Bad words started coming out of my mouth. Little, quiet, not overly offensive words at first, but moving rapidly into a full-blown temper tantrum followed by tears of frustration and self-doubt. It wasn't pretty. I'm not proud of myself. The worst part is that my boss/mentor/friend was in my office as I melted into a puddle of tears and profanity. He was really nice about it and tried to make me smile and take my mind off the dastardly system. It sort of worked. I just couldn't shake the feeling that I had gone from someone who mostly knew what she was doing to someone who just doesn't get it. I hate that feeling.

So I came home and played games on my computer, told MT about my troubles and went to the gym where I sweated and huffed and puffed and managed to forget about work for an hour. When I came home, I watched my guilty pleasure (America's Next Top Model) and wished that my biggest problem was that I was thin, tall and gorgeous but couldn't model worth a lick. And I played Angry Birds on my beloved iPhone. Then I went to bed.

Yesterday was ok.

Today, I was an ass-whooper at work. I told myself I was going to get a few things done that I'd been putting off and I ripped through those tasks and I think I did ok. I was pleased with what I accomplished today, and looking back at my Wednesday drama, I think that for the most part, I did well at the new task and I'll figure out what is missing or find someone somewhere in the company that knows what the heck is wrong with those instructions. And I'll be ok.

And in the meantime, I will eat a delicious, gigantic juicy chocolate-covered strawberry and remember that there are at least five guys who think I'm doing ok and are thankful for the help and support I give them.

Thanks guys!