Merry March friends! I like the month of March: my son was born in March, the NCAA basketball tournament is this month, St. Patrick's Day is fun and spring is (hopefully) on the way. Here in Salt Lake, March definitely came in like a lamb. Today was chilly but sunny and pretty nice. I'm sure there are storms yet to come, probably with inches of snow, but that's late winter/early spring in the intermountain west.
Today is Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent. Will you be giving up anything for the next 40 days? I would like to say that I'm giving up worrying and anxiety. I'll go one day at a time with that goal.
March is the third month of the year Three is an odd number which makes this a month in which I would like to write something here every day. Now that I am back to work and getting back out into the world, I think I would have some experiences and thoughts other than my knee that I could talk about. Don't worry though; you can almost be assured of hearing about my knee throughout the month, whether you want to or not. :)
Just in case I have a hard time thinking of something to write about, I've come up with topics for the weekdays. Today is Wednesday, so I'll talk a little about Weight Watchers. It is a topic that is near and dear to my heart. While I was recovering from the surgery, I lost about eleven pounds. I have put a couple back on, but I'm still pretty pleased with where I am.
I go to meetings on Saturday morning. Our topic this week was about keeping your "why" close by. Everyone who joins WW has a reason to go (other than they want to lose weight). Maybe they want to get off some medications or be healthier or they are going to a wedding/class reunion/vacation and they want to look better. Your "why" keeps you motivated and on track with the program. It's a given that you join because you want to lose weight. But WHY do you want to lose weight?
My Why has changed since the first time I joined in 2008. I was tired of being "the fat chick". I didn't like my clothes. I didn't like how I looked. I hated that my little boy could not put his arms around me all the way. I used T's hugs as a measuring stick and motivation. It was my Why.
Now he is nearly 19 and is tall and has long arms which can easily be wrapped around me. I no longer have the same measuring stick or motivation. But I'm still at WW because I want to lose weight, but I'm struggling a little with the why. I have lots of thoughts in my head, but I can't come up with a vivid, concrete, beautiful reason that I can put into words, but it boils down to this:
I've been thinner and I've been heavier. Thinner is way better. I felt so good in my skin when I weighed less. I felt proud of myself for the work I put into losing the weight. I felt healthier. I was able to be more active. I thought I looked good. I loved buying clothes in the Misses section instead of the Women's Plus section of the store. I liked buying clothes in stores that I wasn't able to buy off the rack in before. I felt more like the person I was meant to be. I felt like my best self.
I want to feel all of those things again. I haven't identified my weight goal, like how much I want to weigh or how many pounds I want to lose. This journey is probably going to be a life-long adventure. I love food and I like to sit around and read or watch TV. Even when I was exercising a lot, it was more out of wanting to lose weight and getting toned and strong than really loving getting all sweaty and sore at the gym. So I'm in this weight loss deal for life. I'm looking at mini goals. Get the next five pound star. (It's a WW thing. They give you a little sticker when you lose five pounds. I love those stickers!) Drop a clothing size. Be able to do a spinning class again. Mini goals, see?
By the way, last week I was down about half a pound. I'd take that same type of loss this Saturday, too! I'll let you know how it goes.