#2361 three things: Osi edition

The past three days have been tremendously sad. I feel like something is missing in the house, and it's true...Osi is missing. I can't even tell you how many times I have looked out on the deck, expecting to see her there, or turned around in my chair to see if she was lying behind me. I want her to be lying outside the bathroom door when I get out of the shower, or watching out for us from the top of the stairs. Is it weird that I burst into tears when I opened the cupboard to get out a jar of salsa and saw the box of Milk Bones? That happened. It's gonna be a process, isn't it?

Tonight I'll share three great memories of my dog so help me remember the fun times.

1. She was a springin' springer spaniel. This dog had some serious hops. T had a trampoline when we got Osi, and it wasn't long before she could jump up on the trampoline and hop around with him. We got her in August, and by October she was up on the trampoline.

It looks like she is smiling!

Do you see her over there on the right, watching?

It was so fun to watch them up there together. She would run and leap and sometimes there was so much momentum that she'd just slide across the tramp and off the other side. Sometimes she would just hop up there and lay down in the sun. When she got hot, she'd get down and go under the tramp and be in the shade.

2. She liked to snuggle. Osi was a lap dog in the body of a medium sized dog. She would jump up on the couch or on the bed and put herself on you. Well, she put herself on me frequently. I'd ask her if she wanted to snuggle  and boom, there she was. She liked to put her head on a pillow, like a person. She didn't mind being wrapped in a blanket, at least for a little while. And when she slept, she really slept.

Yes, that is my pillow on my bed.

When I had my first knee surgery, she would carefully jump up on the bed next to me and stay very quietly. Here she's got her paw on my leg, like she's protecting me.

Again, yes, that is my pillow on my bed. As you can see, I didn't really mind sharing.

3. That dog loved the snow. When she was younger, I would take Osi out to the park in the winter so she could run through the snow. She loved it.

Later, when she couldn't get around as much, she just enjoyed laying out on the deck in the snow. She would flop herself down and lick the snow all around her. Sometimes she would roll around in the snow. It was often hard to get her back inside because she was a snow dog.

I could go on and on. Just looking through the photos I have of her was fun and good for my soul. She was tolerant, patient, and wanted to please. She and T grew up together. I could post a pic of them together every year to show how they both changed and grew. She really was just the best dog ever.  

#2360 good-bye sweet girl

I woke up this morning like usual. I thought about what day it is - Tuesday April 14 - then I thought that I need to get downstairs to take care of Osi.  In less time than it took to have the thought, the overwhelming, heartbreaking truth came back to me...Osi is gone.

Yesterday we made the awful decision to put Osi to sleep. In the past month her health deteriorated quickly to the point where she lost the use of her hind legs completely. For the past few weeks, one of us had to help her walk or carry her outside and help her get to the grass. She spent a lot of time lying out on the deck or next to her food dish. We would help her "walk" to her bed or carry her there. I know if was no kind of life for her, but I couldn't bring myself to make the terrible decision. Honestly, I was hoping that she would die of natural causes, that one morning we would come downstairs and she would be gone.

MT, T, and i talked about what we thought we should do. MT thought it was time to call the vet. T and I wrapped our minds around it. When we came downstairs yesterday morning, Osi was lying in her own pee-pee. I could see in her eyes that she had just given up. The three of us agreed that the time had come. I called the vet and they told me we could come in that morning.

T and I took her to the vet and were with her the whole time. Her passing was quick and peaceful. It was hard to let her go, but I know we did the right thing. I spent a lot of time crying yesterday. Today the tears have come at different times and are brought on by things like picking up her water dish or  looking at the box of Milk-Bones in the cupboard.

I couldn't bring myself to throw her things away today. My friend Nicole told me not to worry about it and to take my time. MT was trying to be helpful this morning and put some of her stuff away, and I couldn't handle it. I'll do it when I'm ready. We had her in our family for a bit over 10 years. I miss her sweet face.

#2355 Saturday with Sandy

Greetings from deep within the Marvel Cinematic Universe. I am currently watching Captain America: The Winter Soldier.  It is the tenth movie in chronological order. I had to skip The Incredible Hulk because it wasn't available on Disney+. To be honest, I wasn't very excited about it anyway because it had Edward Norton as Bruce Banner and I like Mark Ruffalo as the big guy. Another thing is that I heard the movie just wasn't very good, so I was okay with skipping it.

I saw Captain America: The Winter Soldier in the movie theater and I remember not knowing what was going on or who these people were. Come to find out I will sit through just about anything with Chris Evans in it. 

Today has been pretty low-key. I did go out a couple of times today. The first outing was to the grocery store. Many people were wearing masks, including me. Of course, my mask was a quickie makeshift mask from home. I wrapped one of my scarves around my face. It wasn't perfect by any means, but it was something. And it was stylin':

The next time I went out was to get a burger from Atlantis. That was a drive-through experience. No mask required. I washed my hands thoroughly when I got back home from both excursions.

The rest of the day I spent reading and napping. I did some laundry too. It's been pretty mellow.

Osi isn't doing well. Her hips have basically stopped functioning. I have to help her to stand up. She can take a step or two, then she falls down. She pretty much drags herself around if we don't help her. She sleeps for long periods of time. A couple of times last week I thought she might be dead. She was so still and so quiet, I had to put my hand on her to make sure she was still breathing. I think her furry little body is slowly shutting down. Watching her struggle is breaking my heart a little more every day.

Sorry for the bummer at the end of the post, but I wanted and needed to share that bit of info.

Talk to you on Monday.

#2330 everything is okay

On Thursday morning I could hear Osi moving around downstairs. We have wood floors and my hearing has become weirdly attuned to my dog's movements. All week Osi has had a hard time walking; her back legs sometimes just don't work right, and it had been a hard week for her.

Then I heard the saddest, most pitiful sound I have ever heard my dog make. She was crying. It was like a mixture of a howl and a whimper that pulled me out of my bed in a hurry. Osi was at the bottom of the stairs. She had had an accident and then couldn't get herself up, so she had scooched her body through the pee and poop and was unable to stand up and get on the stairs.

When I got to her, she looked at me with the saddest eyes I have ever seen, and I knew that the time to make the worst decision a pet owner has to make was coming.

I got her outside. I cleaned up the mess, then I sat on the stairs and cried.

After lots of texts and emails and phone calls to friends and family, I called the vet to make Osi's final appointment for Friday morning.

I cried all day. I got home and cried with T. Osi laid around and looked miserable.

I woke up Friday morning and came downstairs to see how the doggo was doing. When she saw me, she got right up, walked over to me, all perky like, wagging her tail, eyes sparkling and licked me. I cried some more and knew that Friday was not her last day. I cancelled the vet appointment, bought her some more CBD oil and watched her have a good day. Today was a good day too.

I'm so thankful that I didn't schedule the vet appointment for Thursday afternoon.

It might seem like I was making a rash, snap decision based on one bad day, but that's not true. Osi has lots of health problems, from seizures to this semi-paralysis leg problem to liver disease brought on by all the medications. Her vet and I have talked about her quality of life and life expectancy for a couple of years now. He and I agree that the best we can do is make sure she's comfortable until we can't help her with that anymore.

Osi has never been very vocal. I can count the times I have heard her bark on one hand. She does make a grumbly noise when she wants a cookie. That noise is fairly new; she started making it in the past two or three years. The vet says it's probably caused by the medicines affecting her breathing. I've heard her yelp a time or two when we have accidentally stepped on her or tripped over her, but I haven't ever heard that crying sound she made on Thursday morning. I took it to mean that she had had enough.

So, a reprieve. I am relieved. I'm not ready to let her go. I'm also hyper-aware that she won't get better and there will be more bad days. It's the hardest part of having a pet: knowing when to do the kindest thing.

For now, though, we are good. Everything is okay. That was a close one.

#2329 my heart is breaking

#2276 Monday miracle

Yesterday my sweet Osi dog could not walk. Her back legs would absolutely not support her and every time she tried to get up, she just fell back down. She was dragging herself around by pulling with her front legs. Most of the time she laid on the floor looking sad. It was awful. The whole day I thought about how I was probably going to have to make a terrible decision much sooner than I expected.

In the afternoon, the dog, MT, and I were all downstairs. I was telling MT how Osi had been unable to walk all day. He said that she would have good and bad days and that it was just a bad day.

On the kitchen counter was the CBD oil I'd purchased from the pet store on Saturday. I figured it couldn't hurt her at all, so I broke apart a milk-bone and put about a quarter of a dropper of oil on the cookie. The oil is salmon flavored, and it is strong smelling. Osi was very interested in the cookie and took it right away, crunching away happily. I put a little more oil on the second half of the cookie and gave her that too.

Within about five minutes, the dog got up and started walking around with no visible limping or pain. She stood by the treat cabinet and wagged her tail and went right outside when I called her.

It was a fucking miracle.

How in the world did that oil work so quickly? It was like another dog who looked just like my dog came over in the evening.

Just now Osi was having a bit of a hard time walking around and I put some oil in her dog food. She gobbled it all up, and now she's walking around and checking things out and her back legs look fine. Sometimes, when she's having trouble, the back legs kind of bow in toward each other. We're not having any of that business now.

Another bonus: she sleeps through the night. No more pacing and panting.

I'm a believer. I won't be without the CBD oil for the pooch for the rest of her life.

#2266 weekend wrap-up

I didn't have a chance to write on Friday as I'd planned because I was so knackered when I got home from Garden After Dark that I just went right to bed. So let's start with that...

Garden After Dark is a yearly event at Red Butte Garden, typically held the two weekends prior to Halloween on Thursday, Friday and Saturday. I have four shifts: both Thursdays and both Fridays. On Thursday and Friday I had hand-on shifts in the Orangerie. When I say hands-on, I mean front and center interaction with guests as they played the games in that location. It was chaotic and fun both nights. Usually I have a chance to take a quick break and walk around the garden to see the decorations and the overall theme. There was no chance of that on Thursday or Friday. Hopefully next week.

Yesterday I took Osi to the vet. She was due for her vaccinations and I wanted to chat with her vet about how she is doing. A mom and dad with two little girls and a baby in a carrier came in right after me. The dad was carrying a mid-sized dog, probably a little bigger than Osi. One of the ladies who works at the vet's office, Leesa, asked me if I'd mind if they took care of the family first and I said it was okay. I overheard Leesa telling the family about the costs of cremation and the timing of getting the remains. I immediately teared up because I imagine that I will be in that same situation probably sooner than I want to be. While a room was prepared for that family, the mom looked at me, her eyes bright with tears. I whispered, "I am so sorry," to her and she nodded and smiled sadly. It just crushed me.  Osi is doing okay now but I see her slowing down and struggling hard some days just to get up when she's laying down. But she doesn't miss meals and when she figures out that I'm home she seems happy to see me.


After the vet and WW, I came home, put on my relaxing clothes and set up my reading space at the

dining room table. I spent the afternoon reading which was glorious. We got some take out food for an early dinner and I happily watched my beloved Utes demolish the Arizona State Sun Devils from the comfort of my warm, dry house. #GoUtes

Today has been mellow, too. I've only left the house to get some groceries. I've been reading, I paid some bills, and I cooked. I made two dishes tonight: taco meat (of course) and chicken alfredo roll-ups.  I haven't tried them, but I did taste the alfredo sauce and it was dang tasty. T tried the roll-ups and he said they were good.

Coming up this week...more busy times at work, Garden After Dark on Thursday and Friday, and the first game of the World Series on Tuesday! I'm not sure who to root for, the Nationals or the Astros. I am a National League fan, but I like the Astros. Such a dilemma. I'm really mostly glad neither the Yankees nor Dodgers are involved in the Fall Classic.

Have a great week!

#2249 marvelous Monday memory

I think I  have found a theme for Monday...memories!

Tonight let's go back in time to August 2009. My mom and dad came to visit and we went out to the Gardens at Thanksgiving Point. This was before I knew that Red Butte Garden even existed! Thanksgiving Point is gorgeous. It differs from RBG in that TP is much more structured. There are definite different gardens there that feature structures. RBG is more natural and free-flowing. Both are beautiful and different from each other.

Thanksgiving Point is large. You can rent golf carts there to drive around. I haven't been there in several years and I'm sure the price has gone up quite a bit. We rented a golf cart for the afternoon and I drove Mom, Dad and T around. I hear you can rent segways there now too. I don't remember much from the day except that it was nice and we had fun. It was 10 years ago! Look how little T is.

August 2009 is also when this sweet pupper became one of our family.

Awwww.  She looks about the same, except bigger and her face has a lot more white hairs. She's always been kind of bad at sitting.

T was excited to get a puppy. They became pals in a hurry. He liked to take her for walks.

She got tired out pretty quick though.

When Osi was a puppy, she had to sleep in a kennel, but I would let her snuggle with T when he went to sleep.

I hope these photos made you smile. :)

#2221 three things: a short night, Galactic, trees

It is Thursday which means it is time for

1. Galactic. Last night I volunteered at the Galactic concert at Red Butte Garden. I did not know them or their music at all, but their opening act was Karl Denson's Tiny Universe. Lizzie told me they were from San Diego, and that was enough for me to try to get on the volunteer roster, which I did. Through the magic of Apple Music, I was able to listen to the latest albums from both Galactic and KDTU and I knew I would like the show because they both play jazzy funk. I love funk music. It's fun and awesome.

I was happy to be on the east side of the amphitheater doing recycling with Macy, another volunteer that I have come to know a little bit. There wasn't a big crowd, so everyone was relaxed and happy and dancing. It was hot early in the evening, but when the sun went down, the sunset filled the sky with a soft pink glow and a breeze kicked up out of the canyon and it was damn delightful. The weather was cool and the music was hot. I totally loved it!

If you are so inclined, I recommend that you Google Galactic and take a listen to "Clap Your Hands" and/or "Dance at My Funeral."

2. A short night. The show got over around 10:15 and I signed out around 10:30, thinking I would be home by 11:00 which made me happy because for some reason I scheduled a meeting for 7:30 this morning. Unfortunately, an infrastructure company near and dear to my heart was working on the freeway I took to get home and the two right lanes were closed so I was delayed by about 15 minutes. Once I got home I had to give Osi her meds and prepare myself for bed. I was still a little wound up from the show, so it was hard to settle down. I think knowing that I would have to get up at 5:00 also made me anxious about how little sleep I would get and made it even harder to relax and go to sleep.

Wouldn't you know it? Around 2:00, Osi had a seizure. It had been a few months since her last seizure, and this one seemed to last for many minutes. I had to get up to pet her and make sure she was okay. After the siezure, I got back in bed, but was awakened when Osi got up and started stumbling around like a drunk. I had to stand at the top of the stairs to make sure she didn't tumble down (that has happened before and it sucks too.) When she could get downstairs safely, I gave her a little food with some CBD oil on it. It calms her down. Then I waited until the pacing and crashing into stuff was over and I dragged myself back upstairs to bed.

Of course that dang alarm went off what seemed like moments later. I pulled myself out of bed, got ready for work and went downstairs to feed Osi. That's when I saw that she had had an accident, so I had to clean that up. Not a really pleasant way to start the day, I must say, but I forgive her because she's old and sick and had a seizure. She couldn't help it.

I was tired all day, but I think the company got it's money's worth out of me today.

3. Tree update. It's been about a month since MT and I planted the trees and bushes. It is with a heavy heart that I report one of the trees did not make it. The little quaking aspen we planted in the front yard got overtaken by a volunteer tree of undetermined species and did not survive. The others are still doing well, although I am worried about the spirea at the east end of the yard. Some aggressive weeds want all the water. I will make an effort to hoe the weeds around the bush this weekend and see if that will make a difference.

In other plant news, all of the house plants I repotted while Lizzie was here are doing well. I'm really pleased with that! I don't have a green thumb at all, so it's exciting when plants live that are in my care.

That's all for tonight. I need to get to bed and get some sleep!

#2154 weekend wrap-up

I was feeling better today. I am still super-sniffly, my ears are popping, and my voice is sometimes good and sometimes froggy, but I didn't nap today, so that's progress. The naps I took on Friday and Saturday were less I'm-going-to-lay-down-and-rest-now and more I-can't-hold-my-head-up-and-keep-my-eyes-open-any-longer. I heard from one of my co-workers on Friday that she was terribly sick and had to postpone her flight home. A few minutes ago I heard from another co-worker that she fell ill today and wasn't sure she would make it in tomorrow. The crud is going around!

Osi did eat a little bit of food today. Very little, but I'll take what I can get. For her whole life, we have avoided feeding her people food. I was so worried about her that I broke my own rule today. I cooked her a scrambled egg and she ate that. I also had some deli rotisserie chicken that she ate. I managed to sneak some meds into the chicken, so at least she had a little medicine today. You can tell that she has lost weight in the past few days. She easily jumps on the bed and the couch now and her collar and bandana are much more loose around her neck. Her eyes even look a little bigger, but maybe I'm imaging that.

Last Sunday and today (also Sunday) I got back into the habit of cooking a couple of meals. Last week I made lasagna roll-ups, which is basically lasagna but instead of layering the meat and cheese and pasta, you spread the meat sauce and the ricotta mixture on a single piece of lasagna, then roll that piece up so you have one perfect serving of lasagna. It wasn't any more work than regular lasagna and we all liked it a lot. I loved the portion size aspect because I always eat too much.

I also made a white chicken chili that MT really liked. It had a little spicy kick, but not enough to damage his delicate tum-tum.

Today I made a very simple chicken soup. MT doesn't like it as much as last week's soup which is okay. I also cooked a chuck roast and made another pasta dish, this time with the same meat sauce as last week (a fresh batch) over penne covered with mozzarella. Simple and yummy and there's plenty for easy meals, both lunch and dinner, throughout the week. 

Doing the cooking for the week on Sunday is kind of a hassle, but I find when I don't do it, figuring out what to have for lunch and dinner during the week is also a hassle. The three of us like it when there is food in the fridge. I even write what is available on a little white board so the boys don't have to ask me what's available. Very handy.

Yesterday I finished my first two books of the year! There is a 2019 Reading tab at the top of the page. You can click it to get info about what I've read.

Hope y'all had a great weekend and that you're feeling good and ready to start the third week of January!

#2152 tough days for Osi

My sweet dog Osi suffers from epilepsy which causes her to have seizures. She takes anti-seizure medications, which I have found delay the seizures. She will go for many weeks without having any seizures, but they seem to build up and then she will have a series of episodes that will last two to three days, with about four seizures or so each day. The thing is that I can't tell when the seizures will come or how long they will last or how severe they will be. Even if I did, there isn't anything I can do to prevent them or to make them less traumatic for any of us, including the dog. All I can do is pet her and talk to her and help her recover as well as I can.

The seizure cycle started on Sunday and it seems like her last one was last night (Tuesday). Today she is very quiet, hasn't eaten much and is mostly sleeping. I think the episodes take a lot out of her. I know they are tough on me too. It seems like she has most of her seizures in the middle of the night, maybe because it's quiet and she is resting.

When she starts seizing, my "mom hearing" kicks in. Even if I'm sound asleep I will wake right up and go find her. Lately the seizure and the after-seizure time has been lasting about an hour. Sunday night there were two seizures that I got up for, so I only had about four hours of sleep. She had one before I went to bed, so I got to bed late. She also had one before I left for work. Monday was rough for me.

Osi is the nicest, sweetest dog you would ever find. Her sickness makes me feel so sad.

#2058 June wrap-up

I'd say that June was mostly pretty great; there was definitely more good and fun than bad and crappy. Let's recap:

• Mom and Lizzie came to visit!
• Sightseeing included Red Butte Garden, GilGal Garden and Antelope Island with a "bonus" trip to and from Provo for good measure
• French food and hamburgers!
• Live music!
• MT, Lizzie and I saw Ryan Adams in concert at Red Butte Garden 
• I saw Michael Franti at RBG (volunteer work after the show)
• MT and I spent a couple of days in San Francisco!
• We went to see the Giants play the Padres
• We spent a glorious afternoon at Angel Island and on Alcatraz
• We had a terrific meal at Brenda's French Soul Food (my mouth still waters thinking about it) 
• T is home and healthy and without wisdom teeth 
• Osi didn't have a great month
• She had seizures for two days early in the month
• She got a foxtail in her eye and had to wear the Cone of Shame
• Petsmart won't groom her because she can't remain standing for 90% of the time
• Major repairs to two of our cars
• Air conditioning in my car
• Brakes on T's car
• I volunteered at RBG 31.75 hours in June 
• I read five books
• I saw three movies
• I gained 1.4 lbs, (all San Francisco's fault!)
• I celebrated my birthday

July is shaping up to be fun, too. 

• With my new concert volunteer gig, live music is the theme of the summer. In July I will go to at least once concert every week!
• Two Bluebird Cafe shows at Sundance
• Jackson Brown at RBG
• an 80's show with Belinda Carlisle, ABC and Modern English at RBG (volunteer work)
• DRAKE at Vivint Arena
• July has TWO holidays (here in Utah, anyway!)

I hope you all had a great month and have fun plans for July. Summer rules!!

#2054 three things: family visit, foxtails and Ryan Adams

It's been a few days, but I'm back!

1. Family visit! One of the main reasons I haven't written for a week is because I was preparing for and then playing with my visitors. Mom and Lizzie came to spend a few days here in lovely SLC and really, since they are the main readers of this little corner of the internet, I could just tell them what I was thinking. They arrived on Saturday and left last night (Wednesday). We did a bit of sightseeing, ate some good food, chatted, and even saw a concert. I had fun hanging out with them and I hope they had fun here too. I think they did.

2. Foxtails are the enemy. On Saturday afternoon, just as I was about to go pick Mom and Lizzie up at the airport, I noticed that Osi's left eye did not look right. It was kind of puffy and nearly closed. She was sort of blinking in a painful-looking way. I noticed she had some little burrs on her back and I was afraid that she had a burr in her eye. I couldn't see anything in the eye and I had to leave, so I couldn't do much about it then. When we got home, I called a vet but they weren't taking in any more pets that day. I decided to wait to see if Osi could blink out whatever was in there. At 5:30 on Sunday morning I got up to look at her and it was worse, so I took her to the emergency vet (which is where I would have gone on Saturday anyway). There was a foxtail in her eye. EWWW!! OUCH!!! The stupid weed was working it's way out of Osi's eye, and the vet was able to remove it without even sedating the dog. The foxtail had scratched Osi's eye, so she had to wear the Cone of Shame. She was not graceful with it. She ran in to things during the three days she wore it. There was also an almost unbearable stink that came from the cone. Osi is a sloppy drinker. When she gets a drink of water, she frequently sloshes and slurps and dribbles water onto her floppy lips and ears and all over the floor. With the cone, the water never made it to the floor. It stayed on her chin and neck and ears. The Cone of Shame became the Cone of Stink. When I took Osi to her regular vet on Wednesday morning, even he flinched at the stench.

The good news is that Osi is now cone free. Her eye looks a lot better and everything seems to be fine.

3. Ryan Adams. On Tuesday night Lizzie, MT and I went to see Ryan Adams in concert at Red Butte Garden. Such a great venue! It was a nice evening, not too hot and the wind didn't come down out of the canyon like it sometimes does. We had an excellent picnic and enjoyed the fabulous music. Plus my friends Nicole and Austin sat by us, so it was even better! This is the third year in a row I've been able to see Ryan Adams in concert. I like his music a lot. In the words of the t-shirt Lizzie got, Ryan Adams is sad and loud. Awesome!

Here's hoping y'all have a great weekend planned. I'm aiming to write a few words on Saturday, but I've got some volunteer hours to put in at RBG that day and night. Be kind to yourselves!

#2052 migraines for me and seizures for the dog

Over the past couple of weeks I have had blinding, dizzying headaches that make me want to curl up in a ball, turn off all the lights and cry myself to sleep.

It's probably stress and lack of sleep.

Last night Osi was seizing throughout the night. She is fine for two or three months, then she has a cluster of seizures that usually spans about 24 hours. It's hard to sleep when she is having a seizure. Even though there isn't anything I can do to help her, I like to pet her and talk to her. I'm sure it's scary for her when it happens. After the seizure itself is over, coming back to reality is slow and stumbling and disorienting. Last night was nice and cool at 2AM and I let her go outside to lay on the deck. I set my alarm for 45 minutes so I could go back and check on her. She was fine then, so I left her out there and set the alarm again, but couldn't get myself out of bed when the alarm went off, so she stayed out there until 6AM. She must have felt better because she was running through the sprinklers when I went to check on her. She came up to the door with a smiley dog face and a wagging tail. I dried her off and gave her some food and she promptly had another seizure.

She seems to be feeling better tonight and I have this shitty headache.

I'm going to bed.

#2003 three things: seizures, sleep and snow

1. Seizures.  It had been awhile since I've seen Osi have seizures, but they came back with a vengeance this week. I didn't see her have them on Tuesday, but I'm almost sure she did because of the way she acted at night. I know she had one on Wednesday morning and Wednesday night. She had one this morning before I went to work. I wonder if the seizures kind of build up in her system and then she has a series of seizures until all of "that" (whatever "that" is) works its way out of her body. Osi takes quite a mix of anti-seizure medications daily. On her last vet visit, a blood test was taken to ensure that her medication levels were in the correct range, and they were. I'm hoping that she gets over the seizures soon. It's heartbreaking to watch, both the seizures and the aftermath.

2. Sleep. Osi, like a little kid, comes to my side of the bed after she has a seizure. Her toenails click click click across the wood floor, then she puts her face right up by mine and she pants in my face until I wake up. I drag myself out of bed to let her outside, make sure she's not hurt and give her a little food, which I find helps her come out of her post-seizure weirdness. Normally I don't mind, but these past couple of nights she has been weirder and needier than in the past. She has woken me up both nights at 2:00, 3:00 and 4:00. I know she's sick and she can't help it but man, it is brutal to lose sleep like that. Today I felt like a zombie. I was tired.

It's not just Osi, though. I've been watching the Olympics and all the good stuff happens past my bedtime. Last night I wanted to stay up to watch Schiffren and Vonn ski, but I fell asleep on the couch. I'm going to bed early tonight!

3. Snow. On Monday it snowed like crazy here. It snowed some more on Tuesday. Wednesday and today have been dry and sunny, but as I drove home tonight I noticed that clouds were gathering over the lake. Snow is in the overnight forecast. I know it is winter and I know we need the snowpack so we have water for the summer, but can't it just snow in the mountains and rain in the valley? And it is just so dang cold.

I'm done whining for now.

#1966 3 things: Osi, dentist, Mexico

Tonight I have three legit things to talk about: one good and two bads. Let's start with the not goods.

1. Osi is having seizures tonight. Since I have been home this evening, I have seen Osi have three seizures. The last one was bigger than the other two and involved involuntary urination. (Hers, not mine.) It had been awhile since I had seen her have seizures and when I took her to the vet a few weeks ago, the doctor took a blood sample and said all her medication was at the proper levels. I suspect that she may have missed a dosage of meds over the weekend, but I can't say for sure. Maybe her little doggy body just needed to get the seizures out of her system. It's very hard to watch my dog go through the seizures when all I can do is pet her and speak to her softly and try to help her when she recovers. Poor little hound dog.

2. I had to go to the dentist. You know the dentist's office is a total body experience. You use many of your senses there: smell, hearing, and taste especially.  I had a little cavity on a bottom left molar. The dentist told me that it was so small he wasn't even going to numb me. I asked him if he was going to drill and he said that he was and I told him to numb it up. He gave me the shots and then I got a little shaky and asked for a few minutes to relax. I was kind of having a hard time getting a good breath because I was feeling anxious and nervous, so I asked for the "gas" - the nitrous oxide. A few deep breaths of the laughing gas and I absolutely did not care that a dude was sticking his hand in my mouth and doing god-knows-what to god-knows-which tooth. Dr. Dave said he was going to put a note in my file that I should always have the nitrous. I gave him a thumbs up on that idea. The numbing wore off pretty quickly and I was able to have dinner. My jaw is kind of sore, so I'll have an ibuprofen before I go to bed. It hasn't really been an enjoyable evening.

EXCEPT FOR...

3. We're going to Mazatlan! Actually, this story is kind of sad, too, but works out for us which makes me feel bad in one way and excited in another way. Okay, here's the story. MT's Aunt Jennie, who went with us to OBX, has a time-share and she booked a vacation with Aunt Pat (also from OBX fame) for January to an all-inclusive resort in Mazatlan. Sadly, Aunt Jennie was diagnosed with leukemia, and is undergoing treatment, so she will not be able to go to Mexico. Aunt Pat didn't want to go without Jennie, so Jennie offered the booking to her kids. None of them wanted to go, so she offered it to MT. The only cost for us is the airfare and whatever excursions we would choose to take while we are there. MT and I talked it over, and decided to take Jennie up on her generous offer. Tonight we booked our flight, so yeah, in about six weeks, right in the middle of January, we will be sipping margaritas on the shores of the Pacific. A bit of good news to this story is that Aunt Jennie is responding very well to the treatment and is expected to recover. We are keeping our fingers crossed that she will continue to kick leukemia's ass.

Well, there's what I've been doing tonight. It's been eventful.

#1931 relaxin' on Friday night

When I left work, I decided I would swing by the library on my way home to see if I could find a book or two. I don't think there has been many times when I have left the library without a book or two. I still like to read actual books as much as I like to read on my Kindle. There were quite a few people in the library, mostly kids being noisy. Don't they know they are supposed to be quiet in the library? I guess not in Magna.

When I got home, I just wanted to lie on my bed for a few minutes. Osi can't jump up on the bed anymore, so I gave her a boost and she flopped down on top of me so I could lavish her with affection. She needed some Sandy time. Osi is kind of smelly right now and really needs a haircut, but I love her anyway.

A little later I came downstairs to contemplate what to have for dinner. T just wanted a sandwich. MT wasn't home from work yet, so I fixed T a ham sandwich and turned on the TV. BYU was playing at Utah State tonight. The Utes have a bye week, so I figured watching two other in-state teams would be all right. Something really unusual happened...I actually felt kind of sorry for BYU, They had to use their third-string quarterback and it appeared that the kid wasn't quite ready for prime time. He threw numerous interceptions and Utah State ended up winning big 40 - 24. I have always said that my favorite teams are Utah and whoever is playing BYU, but I find it a lot harder to dislike BYU with Kalani Sitake as their head coach. He used to be the defensive coordinator at Utah and I've heard many interviews with him. He seems like a great guy.

Got a little more Osi snuggle time on the couch during the game. I also caught a couple of zzzs after I ate a chicken quesadilla.

Overall it has been a pleasant night.

Earlier in the day I thought I would be writing about the Outer Banks trip, but football side-tracked me. I guess I'll be writing again on Monday, 10/2. Even month, even day writing plan.

Have a great weekend!

#1918 throwback Thursday: when Osi came to live with us

On August 1, 2009, this adorable little springer spaniel came into our lives. It had been a few months since our sweet little cocker spaniel, Henley, went to doggie heaven and I was finally feeling ready to get a new pet. I knew I wanted a dog that was a little bigger than a cocker spaniel, but not as big as a labrador. A guy at work had been telling me about a dog he'd had, a springer spaniel, that was the best dog he'd ever had. I did a little research and thought that if I could find a springer that wasn't too outrageously priced, I would get one.

I kept an eye on the local classified ads and finally found some springer puppies for sale that I could afford. I can't remember how much it was, but I'm pretty cheap so it couldn't have been too much. My parents were visiting at the time and I remember that my dad came with T and I to look at the puppies. There were two of them, a girl and a boy. The boy was very friendly and cute, but I really wanted a female dog. The girl was very shy but when she finally came around, she was sweet and so adorable. She came home with us that afternoon.

I decided to name her Osi after Osi Umenyiora, a football player for the New York Giants. I'd heard Umenyiora give an interview on the ESPN radio show "Mike and Mike" and he sounded like a good guy, plus he had a cool name.

Our little Osi really is the sweetest dog. She is a total pack dog - she is not an alpha female. She doesn't even bark. The few times I've heard her bark I didn't really know it was her at first. She will look with interest at other barking dogs, but she doesn't join in. She is submissive. When I take her to doggie daycare, she will stand quietly while all the other dogs sniff her but she doesn't show much interest in sniffing anyone back. She's a peaceful little soul.

For the past two or three years she has suffered from seizures. Her illness has changed her personality. She used to be very active and would run around the yard and loved to go for walks. Now, because of the anti-seizure meds she takes, she is lethargic and seems kind of scared to be out for a walk. She tucks her tail between her legs and sort of slinks around, pulling at the leash. She gets really excited when we are back at the car. She's also put on quite a bit of weight and doesn't jump up like she used to.

Still, she mostly seems happy, especially when she has a chewie bone (rawhide) or a cookie (Milk Bone biscuit). She also really REALLY loves the dried chicken treats I get for her at Trader Joe's. (Everyone in our house loves Trader Joe's!) She has a hard time jumping up on the bed and sometimes even the couch, but when I can get her up with me, she is the best snuggle friend.

I love my dog!

#1795 not quite like I'd planned

Today did not go according to my plan. At. All.

Yesterday I wrote that Osi was having seizures. The seizures kept happening during the night, and by 8:00 this morning, we knew she had had at least six or seven seizures that we knew of in 24 hours. That fact worried us enough to take her to the emergency care vet that works with our regular vet. The bad news is that we were there for well over two hours. The good news is that although Osi was nervous, she did not seize during that time and (knock on wood) hasn't seized since. The vet I spoke to recommended increasing the dosage of one of Osi's meds. I feel comfortable with that, so we'll try it. It seems like a good easy solution.

I mentioned in yesterday's post about the full moon. As it turns out, Osi's last set of cluster seizures was on October 15 and the moon phase was exactly what it was last night - waxing moon about 96% full.

Between Osi's seizures and my chronic horrible knee pain, I didn't get much sleep last night. Around 6:00 tonight I was yawning and seriously considering going to bed. Instead, I fired up my computer and started exploring New Orleans. Lizzie sent me a preliminary itinerary, but from reading my recently purchased guide book, I realized that some of the things she had listed for us to do each day were in different neighborhoods and might not be the best use of our time. So armed with my guidebook, the internet and the list of things we want to do, I set out to make my own day-by-day plan. I kind of petered out by Sunday. I'm pretty sure I sure that I stuffed too many things into Thursday, Friday and Saturday, so Sunday will be a good day to regroup and see what we didn't have time to do maybe. Also, I haven't even sent the proposed plan to Lizzie, so she might not be down with it at all! My philosophy, though, was to visit a different neighborhood or two each day. We might not get out of the city to explore a plantation or see the bayou, but there is a lot of cool stuff to see in NOLA itself. The restaurants alone were hard to narrow down. We only eat three meals a day and there are literally dozens of places that I thought sounded pretty amazing.

And now it is 11:00. I haven't even taken out my contacts yet. Today's to-do list is woefully short of checked off items. I'm gonna really have to get after it Monday and Tuesday night so I can be ready for Lizzie's arrival on Wednesday afternoon. Our flight to New Orleans leaves at 7:00 on Thursday morning, so there will be no time for messing around! I'm getting excited though!

#1794 three more seizures

Another three seizure day for my sweet little Osi dog. It seems like it has been happening more frequently and in clusters. I wonder if the seizures coincide with the full moon. That would be a strange coincidence, wouldn't it?

The seizures are so hard to watch. The last one tonight happened while she was outside laying on the deck. I was sitting inside, watching TV, then I heard a noise from outside and I knew what was happening. I quickly went out with her. I keep a calm hand on her and make sure she doesn't bonk her head on something and hopefully to keep her tongue toward the front of her mouth.

After she was done with the actual seizure tonight, she was quite still but she was making such a sad moaning sound. She doesn't vocalize like that very often but when she does, it is just heartbreaking. She finally settled down, then tried to get her legs under her so she could walk around. It's almost like she has a hard time seeing and has very little control of her legs. She stumbles around and runs into corners and cabinets and her legs just give out from under her and she finds herself sprawled on the floor. It's such a sad thing.

This afternoon after the second seizure, I went outside with her. I figured she would be more safe out on the grass. As I watched her wander around, limping a little and narrowing missing contact with the grill, I thought about her quality of life. She is on so much medication that clearly is not having the desired effect of keeping her seizure-free. She hates to go out for walks. When I take her out, she tucks her tail between her legs and looks scared and uncertain. After even a short walk, she seems so tired out and so relieved to be home.

What do I do? I feel so sad for her. I hate that she suffers from these seizures and there doesn't seem to be anything I can do for her. ...sigh...