#2908 three things: 1 out of 100, you don't have to finish it, and big water

I realized that each of these topics could be a separate post each, so I'll keep them brief for our purposes here.

1. One out of a hundred. Last night I volunteered at the Lyle Lovett concert at Red Butte Garden. My job was a line attendant, and part of that role is to help people get through the ticket lines as quickly and easily as possible by pointing out the shortest lines, answering quick questions, and moving folks along that suddenly stop in the path or block the way (it happens more than you'd think.) Most people are friendly and happy to be going to a show. They are grateful to be directed to the shortest lines, and often say thanks as they pass. There are always one of two people, though, that complain about something, and take out their frustration on me because I am there or because I don't give them the answer they want. 

I was thinking about my experience last night, and sure enough, my thoughts came back to a man who got angry and annoyed. He swore and kicked the barrier in frustration and told me how pissed off he was at the whole situation. I've got hundreds of people coming toward me to get into this show, and this one man temporarily stole my attention and my good energy with his nastiness. I helped him as well as I could, but it clearly wasn't the information he hoped to get. I tried to recall the friendly, pleasant people who smiled and said hi. Is it human nature, or just my nature, to dwell on the one person who put a damper on my mood?

2. You don't have to finish it. This year, there have been three or four books that I have started and did not finish. I either got bored, stopped caring about the characters and the story, or just flat out didn't like the story or the writing. I felt kind of bad about it the first time I gave up on a book, but then I looked at my TBR (to be read) pile and told myself that there are a whole lot of books and only limited time to read, so enjoy the books you do read. There's no shame or problem with putting down a book you are not into. Thinking back, I've become way more discerning and willing to stop reading if I'm bored. On to the next, I say!

3. Big water drinking in the USA. A few weeks ago, I saw a post on Instagram from an American woman who now lives in England. She was jokingly pointing out the difference between drinking water in the U.S. compared to Europe. The Europeans, according to this woman, just get a glass of water from the tap when they are thirsty, drink it, and move along with their day, just getting a glass of water when they feel thirsty. Americans, on the other hand, will have a good-sized insulated cup or bottle that we carry around with us at all time. I admit I'm guilty of this. I have a 32 oz Yeti/Stanley type insulated cup that I keep filled at all times, and I sip water constantly throughout the day.  Am I more hydrated than my European friends? I doubt it.

I was thinking about it today, and I certainly didn't see my cousins walking around with a bottle of water everywhere they went. When they were thirsty, they would get a glass, a normal size eight ounce drinking glass, fill it, and drink. I would fill my insulated bottle with ice and water and carry it around. I wonder if that is a an outcome of diet culture in the U.S. When I was in WW, we were told to drink at least 64 ounces of water a day, or half our body weight in water. So if I was 200 pounds, I'd drink 100 ounces of water daily. There are lots of apps and trackers for making sure one is drinking enough water every day. Is it too much? Am I bloated and sloshy because there's too much water on board? 

These are questions I ponder.

#2814 words are important

On Tuesday night I attended a...well, let's call it a "support group" meeting. The topic that night was "expectations."  Some people talked about how other people did not meet that person's expectations. Other folks talked about how they set very high expectations for themselves and never seemed to achieve what they expected. There was talk about perfectionism, and how they knew they should do a certain thing, but couldn't seem to get it done, so they often felt let down. 

It was kind of a downer meeting, thinking back on it now.

I didn't have a chance to speak up because the hour was over before I knew it, but if I had spoken, it might have sounded something like this:

   Many, many years ago, I took a workshop with some co-workers called Creativity in Business. We met once or twice a week for six to eight weeks. Each week there was a topic for us to practice, then we'd talk about it during the next session. I don't remember too many details about the workshop, because it was a long time ago, but I do remember the last session, in which we did a presentation of our choosing based on one or more of the topics. I told a story, and it sparked my love of storytelling. I believe my story was based on the first topic of the workshop which was called No Expectations. 

The thing about expectations, as many of the people in the support group pointed out, is that expectations can be or turn out to be negative. For example, when the boss says she wants to talk to you, don't you often think that it might be a negative conversation? (Maybe that's just me.) Or maybe you are going to an event, like a concert, and you've been looking forward to it with great excitement and anticipation, and maybe the show was fine and good, but your expectations for it were so high, there was no way it could have reached your level of expectation.

Clearing your mind of expectations can be so freeing. I was so excited for our vacation in April, when we went on the cruise and then spent some time in Rome. I had built this trip up in my mind as the greatest thing, and it was going to be awesome, and everything was going to be spectacular. Thankfully, before I left, I pumped my mental brakes a little and realized I *might* be setting myself up for a letdown. In my journal, I wrote two words: NO EXPECTATIONS. It was a reminder to stay in the moment and roll with the punches. It's a good thing, too. Between delayed flights and late-arriving luggage, everything was not always peachy, but I didn't let those annoying parts get me down. I rolled with it and had a fabulous time in spite of the not-so-great things. 

As far as setting expectations for myself, I don't really use that word. I tend to use the word "goals" or "intentions"  or "plans." I try not to use the word "should," opting instead for "I'd like to," or "I need to."  I definitely am a planner and a list maker. I frequently put waaaaay to much stuff on my to-do list, and I have felt defeated and a little worthless when I can't get everything accomplished. Sometimes it really bothers me and other times I just tell myself to schedule that task for another day and try again. I'm getting a lot better at either rescheduling or deciding that "thing" is not so important after all and just letting it go.

And perfectionism? It's a myth, not attainable by mere humans. A friendly co-worker shared a quote a week or so ago from the actor Michael J. Fox that I love a lot:

Reach for excellence. Be comfortable with your imperfections. We are all gloriously imperfect creatures. Be as excellent as only you can be and give yourself some grace. 

Choose words that make you feel good, because words are important. 

(No, I probably would NOT have said all these things in my group meeting on Tuesday. Only some of them.)