Tomorrow is the 10th anniversary of the happiest day of my life, T's birthday. He's just so dang cool. I'm going to take off work a little early and pick him up from school and we're going to go do something, probably involving shopping. He's quite a consumer, and he's got birthday money burning a hole in his wallet.
I never really thought I'd ever be a mom. Heck, I didn't think I'd ever be married, either, for that matter. MT is a bit of a slow adopter on some things. T wasn't the result of planned pregnancy. Actually, I'd been sick and had to go off The Pill and that's when it happened. My doctor had told me that I may have a hard time getting pregnant, and maybe MT took that as a challenge.
There are two things I remember especially about T's birth. First, I was supposed to have him earlier in the month. I think I went to the hospital around March 4 and got all hooked up to the machines and took hurry-up-baby drugs, but nothing happened. I spent the night at the hospital and in the morning I told my doctor that I was ready to go home because the baby wasn't ready to come out. I remember going out to breakfast with my in-laws and my parents. My sister was in town too, and everyone went back to their homes slightly disappointed that there wasn't a new family member out in the world yet.
The second thing I remember is the birthday. Once again I was in the hospital, hooked up to the machines, filled with the hurry-up-baby drugs. This time, though, something did happen. The baby's heart rate skyrocketed, causing the doctors to panic and decide it was time for that baby to come by by c-section. MT and I had been talking about going to Hawaii (always dreaming of vacation long before we ever went on one!) so he was out buying a travel magazine. I thought he would miss the action because once the doctors decided it was time, it was time!
I remember that I had an epidural, and the anesthesiologist telling me he got it just right. I remember being strapped to the operating table and talking to the anesthesiologist about cheeseburgers. I remember MT coming into the operating room and the doctors telling him exactly where to stand and how to fall if he felt faint. I remember asking the doctors to quit moving the table around and MT telling me that the table was bolted to the ground. I remember that my nose itched something fierce and asking MT to scratch it for me. He tickled it. The doctor had a big soft towel and he rubbed it over my nose. I loved that.
And I remember when they took the baby out of me. There was no sound. Aren't they supposed to cry? They moved him quickly to a table near my head but just beyond my vision and they worked on him for what seemed like forever. And it was quiet. And MT looked at me and I was so scared. Then suddenly all the doctors and nurses said "Ah!" and I heard the most beautiful sound I've ever heard, my baby crying for the first time. And he peed on everyone. That's why the doctors said, "Ah" although it might have been more like, "ARGH!"
I remember they handed the baby to MT and they went away and I got stitched up or whatever, I really don't remember much else about that except that everything was good. When I woke up I was back in my room and MT was holding the baby and it was so sweet. I was too drugged up to hold him or do anything about anything.
The first time I remember holding him was, well, I don't know what time it was or even what day it was. I just remember the nurse putting him in my arms. I looked at that little pink wrinkly face and I said, "Hello Angelfish." And the nurse looked at us and smiled and left me alone with this gorgeous little bundle that looked at me with big, dark, trusting eyes and I fell totally in love and haven't been out of love since that minute.
And now my Angelfish is 10 years old and I am staggered by how fast the time has gone by. I'm constantly amazed at how smart he is, and how funny he can be; how loving and how stubborn, too. I'm thankful to have him in my life, and I pray every day that I will be a good mom and that he knows how much I love him and that he is the very best thing that ever happened to me.
Happy birthday T! I love you very very much!
2 comments:
What lucky boy T is to have parents that love him so much. You only wish every child could have that.
I was really moved when I read your story and it surely brought back memories..Another thing is when I was expecting my second son I wondered if it was possible to love another child as much as the first - and yes it was and is. It's even possible to love a third as much. Each child has a place in my heart and certainly T has one too. I just fell when I saw him for the first time and the first thing he did and said was: Hi aunt Mia and gave me a big hug (I hope he got his presents in time)
Happy Birthday Tristan, and a job well done Sandy!!!
I even got a tad teary reading it :)
Love you both mucho!
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