#1045 let's see how this pans out

After some heavy-duty thinking and discussions with my family over the weekend, I decided that it would be a good idea to have the knee surgery this year, if my surgeon can get me on his schedule. If he can't, it will probably be two years before I can have the surgery because it will take me that long to save up the money to cover the deductible. I made an appointment to see him a week from Friday, on 11/22. 

Although I'm not having the pain that I had with my right knee, I do have pain in my left knee. I told myself I wouldn't let the left knee get as bad as the right knee got, but I do feel a little guilty even thinking about something as drastic as surgery when I'm only in moderate pain. My friend Nicole told me to think of it like my car's brakes. If I notice that the brakes aren't working properly, I go get them fixed, right? I don't wait until the brakes don't work at all before taking it to the shop. So there you go.

Besides the pain and the money and the slower time at work that makes me feel ok about being away for six weeks or so, another factor that made me feel good about getting surgery now is that MT is off work, so he will be around to help me. I really appreciated having help from my mother-in-law and my sister during my first two weeks at home. It would be have awful without them just because there are some things involving my care that I really couldn't have done by myself. 

Of course, tonight MT got a call to come in for a job interview tomorrow. I'm really happy for him, but a part of me (silently) said, "But what about me?!"

I kind of feel like a horrible person right now.

Of course I want him to get a job, and I will be sending all sorts of positive good vibes his way tomorrow afternoon as he meets with his prospective employer. But jeez! Isn't that always the way it goes?!

Stay tuned...