#2668 Saturday with Sandy

I had a dreadfully hard time getting out of bed today. I was up at 7:00 to feed the dogs, got back in bed, read for a few minutes, and went back to sleep. At some point, MT got up, showered, took the dogs for a walk, and kissed me good-bye. I knew subconsciously all  of that was happening, but I was asleep through it all.

At another point, there was an annoying buzzing-type sound. Turns out that was my alarm at 9:30. I turned it off and went back to sleep. I know the dogs were playing, wrestling, and making their dog noises at each other. I heard a squeaky toy and gnawing on a bone. All of it subconscious, because I slept right on through it all. Finally, Harley's cold, wet nose on the underside of my arm is what caused me to wake up. She had a concerned look on her face. It was 11:10.

Wow. I haven't slept until 11 for awhile. I guess my body needed it. The week was long and weird. I've had to get up in the middle of the night to pick T up from work, and even though I was able to get right back to sleep when I got home, the interruption is still an interruption of rest. I've been worried about Covid and how we/I get through this raging surge. Like I wrote on Thursday, so many people are getting sick that business are shutting down due to staffing shortages. At my office on Friday, I was one of two people who were in the main admin part of the building. The receptionist was sent home because she was coughing and sniffling, so I was told that I could work from home in the afternoon, which I did, and was thankful for. It's all kinda stressful, and takes a toll on the mind and body.

I took a shower, fixed myself a cup of coffee and read the last few pages in the first section of Cloud Cuckoo Land to prepare for the book discussion. After that, I sat on my couch playing games on my phone and making a shopping list. I went to the grocery store wearing my new N95 mask, put the groceries away, took the dogs for a walk, then sat on my couch for another hour and half watching three episodes of The Lowe Files from 2017. 

The thought crossed my mind that I was being extremely lazy today. I pushed back on that thought though. I don't think it's lazy to take a day to care for yourself. I need to rest and repair both my mind and body. Today was mostly about repairing my mind, honestly. I feel fine physically, but the anxiety and slight depression is real. I remember reading something on NPR about laziness, so I took a minute to look it up. NPR is doing a series called "22 Tips for 2022" and there was a story about laziness. Click here to read it. If you have 17 minutes, the mini-podcast is interesting, too, and takes the discussion a little further.

My sister recently told me that she is trying to have a task free day, and I really love that idea (of course I do! Lizzie is awesome!). It seems so simple, but when you are a task-oriented, planner-addicted, give-yourself-a-checkmark-for-getting-shit-done kind of person, a task free day is tricky to do. When you do it, though, it feels so good. Freeing, and a wonderful first step to getting back to feeling like yourself. There will always, always, be things to do. It will be there tomorrow. Take some time to rest, read, watch TV, nap, and just be. It's okay.

It felt dang good to do that today.