#559 scale is climbing

OK, OK. I think I said I would try to write once a week, but things happen and something has to give and it was the blog. So what have I been doing that has kept me from sharing mundane, day-to-day RRHH trivia with the WWW? Not much, to be honest. Except for the trip we took to visit the family in California, we/I didn't do too much. I have no excuse. I'm probably down to five readers now. :(

I'm about to vent.

I weighed in this morning, and the scale showed the largest number it's shown this year. And as much as I celebrated and congratulated myself for losing the weight, I have to take full responsibility for gaining some back, and doing it so quickly. That's the thing, isn't it? It takes so long to work it off, and it will come back the moment you don't pay attention. And that's what's been happening. I just haven't been paying attention. As much as I'd like to say I know how to manage my weight, it's plain that I have to focus plenty of attention on myself and what I'm eating. I have a tendency to just eat stuff because it's there.

For example, on Wednesday morning, I had a meeting at work. We returned from California late on Tuesday night, and I was hungry in the morning. Since there wasn't really anything in the house, I stopped for a breakfast sandwich, because I didn't even think that there might be breakfast stuff for the meeting. But there were bagels there. I didn't take one right away, but I did take one and I gobbled it like I hadn't eaten in days. Why? Why did I do that?

This morning before I went to WW, MT said that he thought we hadn't been eating much. I told him that I knew I had gained, and I think it's because I thought I wasn't eating much. That's my problem when I don't sit down and have an actual meal - when I'm just picking stuff up as we go along. I don't make good choices. I don't drink enough water. I don't exercise, or even walk around much. It's seriously so easy for me to get lazy about everything. Then I see a big gain on the scale and I have to say, "Yep. I did that."

I've become complacent. I've said to myself, "I've lost 85 80 75 71 pounds and I know what I'm doing. I can eat a cookie now and then." OK, but do you need a cookie (or two or three) every day? And I've got to get a handle on what can only be called an addiction to Nutella. I'm tellin' ya - I love that stuff, and not in moderation. I'm going to have to get militant with myself like I did when I first started Weight Watchers. Plan, track, measure, make good choices and not just pop that little candy bar in my face just because the candy is there. I've come way too far to F it up, you know?

So there's my rant for today. Do better.