Saturday, May 10, 2014

#1172 I thought I was going to write about my new shoes but...

Make-up and shoes. Those are two things you can buy that will always fit. I'd like to add jewelry to that list. Earrings always fit, usually better than shoes.

This morning I was feeling blue because at my WW weigh-in this morning, I gained back that stupid 1.6 lbs that I dropped off last week. GRRR. I'm a yo-yo. The really pathetic thing is that I KNOW when I'm making bad food choices, but I can't seem to stop myself.

When I got home from WW, I had a good long chat with myself about making better choices. I reflected on what were some things that contributed to my weight loss success in the past and asked myself if I had the fortitude to step up and do those things again. I asked myself if I felt better/happier/stronger/healthier when I was like this:

me in 2008 (in the Dominican Republic)
or like this:

me in 2010 (in Barbados)
While I know that I am fabulous no matter what my weight is, (that's what you're supposed to tell yourself, right?) I'm telling you straight up that I felt a lot more confident and healthier in 2010 than in 2008. My self-esteem has taken a plunge in the past couple of years as I have put weight back on.

Last year in particular, I found myself to be very unhappy. I kind of gave up on myself. I didn't even try to look my best because I didn't feel like my best was good enough. My work suffered, my family suffered and I suffered because I wasn't happy with myself. I won't go through that again.

Whoa. This is not where I was expecting this post to go! I just meant to tell you about the new shoes I bought today. Guess I'm in my head way more than I thought.

Send some kind thoughts and good vibes my way, please friends, as I continue to struggle with my weight loss demons. :) 


1 comment:

emtes said...

You know I love you no matter what size you are but it's important that you feel good about yourself not what anyone else thinks.
Everyone that has had weight issues know what you are talking about and certainly me.
Maybe you should have a goal that is between those pics. Don't be hard on yourself.
You still need to enjoy and embrace life the way you want to in order to be happy.
I wish you good luck with whatever goal you set and I will try to pep you from here :-)
Take care, I love you, you are gorgeous, have a wonderful personality and you are in my eyes beautiful inside and out.
PUss och kram
aunt Mia