Saturday, March 26, 2016

#1637 need to stop lying to myself

Today was my weigh-in day. I thought I had done a good job this week with tracking and working the plan, but when I stepped on the scale, I was up nearly two pounds. I was disappointed and angry at myself. I talked with the leader about the gain before the meeting started. She knew that I was bummed out and annoyed. I sat through the meeting feeling bad and sorry for myself. I listened to what was being said and applauded for other people's success, but through it all I felt bitter and upset.

When I got home I sat down and had a little talk with myself. I really thought about what was going on and I finally admitted to myself that I wasn't being honest. I wasn't really tracking everything that I ate. I eat stuff that I don't record, mostly sweets because I know I shouldn't eat sweets because they are very "expensive" points-wise. If I'm really going to work on the plan and see success, I need to track everything I eat. If I don't want to track it, I shouldn't eat it. I've got to be truthful with myself because I am that suffers by fooling myself with not tracking everything.

I have written before about a goal I set to reach a certain weight by my birthday. There are about 11 weeks until my birthday and I'd like to lose around 17 pounds, so that's about one and a half pounds a week. It might not sound like much, but I can assure you that it's a lot easier to gain a pound and a half than to lose it. It crossed my mind today that I might not achieve the goal. Does that mean I shouldn't try? Again, I'm the only person who suffers if I don't at least try. Even if I don't reach the goal, if I'm close I'm still better off.

1 comment:

Pappy1 said...

I understand your feelings. I have struggled all my life with weight control. When I was in the Army I came out of basic training I was in the best shape of my life. I have been on diets on and off my whole life. Some worked, because I made them work. But I didn't keep up, and gained the weight back. Now I weigh in three times a week, because of my illness. You have to be honest with yourself. Dedication and will power are needed. But don't deny yourself. My mother in law said, "moderation is the way". Try to find a balance to your life. Be comfortable with who you are. We love you.