Today was my weigh-in day. I thought I had done a good job this week with tracking and working the plan, but when I stepped on the scale, I was up nearly two pounds. I was disappointed and angry at myself. I talked with the leader about the gain before the meeting started. She knew that I was bummed out and annoyed. I sat through the meeting feeling bad and sorry for myself. I listened to what was being said and applauded for other people's success, but through it all I felt bitter and upset.
When I got home I sat down and had a little talk with myself. I really thought about what was going on and I finally admitted to myself that I wasn't being honest. I wasn't really tracking everything that I ate. I eat stuff that I don't record, mostly sweets because I know I shouldn't eat sweets because they are very "expensive" points-wise. If I'm really going to work on the plan and see success, I need to track everything I eat. If I don't want to track it, I shouldn't eat it. I've got to be truthful with myself because I am that suffers by fooling myself with not tracking everything.
I have written before about a goal I set to reach a certain weight by my birthday. There are about 11 weeks until my birthday and I'd like to lose around 17 pounds, so that's about one and a half pounds a week. It might not sound like much, but I can assure you that it's a lot easier to gain a pound and a half than to lose it. It crossed my mind today that I might not achieve the goal. Does that mean I shouldn't try? Again, I'm the only person who suffers if I don't at least try. Even if I don't reach the goal, if I'm close I'm still better off.