Here's what I know: sometimes it can be really tough to come up with things to write about. With that in mind, I'm thinking of having a theme for each day of the week that I can use when I don't have a story or some pics to share. I've kind of been moving in that direction for a little while with Simple Pleasure Monday. I've done Travel Tuesday a couple of times. There's Throwback Thursday and Foodie Friday and in the past I've done a Fixer Upper update on Sunday. When I was thinking about what to do on Wednesday, Weight Watchers seemed like a good topic and the timing is good for me. I weigh in and go to the meeting on Saturday, so Wednesday is a good mid-point for me to sort of remember the meeting and reflect on how I think I'm doing this week.
The meeting topic last week might have been about cleaning out your fridge and making it plan friendly, but that's not really what we focused on. One of the things I really like about our current but temporary leader Gina, is that she starts the meeting like she is chatting with us and then lets the conversation and discussion go where it goes. She always touches on the topic of the week, but a lot of times, people get way more engaged in the discussion and build on things that others say. It creates a very warm and friendly atmosphere. We clap and cry and laugh and it's a pretty great way to start the WW week for me. Generally I don't say very much. I like to listen and try to get inspired.
At the last meeting Gina encouraged us to write down what we took away from the meeting. I had four things:
One of the ladies called the smaller ladies at the pool she goes to "the scrawnies"
Several of the people were trying to re-engage with their WW plan, which is where I am/was
Vita Tops are 4 Smart Points
Gina's outfit was ridiculously cute and how does she wear those high heels?
I know all of these things seem random but it has helped me remember the meeting and by simply remembering the meeting, I remember Weight Watchers and I remember that I want to follow the plan and lose some weight. It's a process.
Lately I have been struggling with motivation. When I very joined WW back in 2008, I was sick of myself and the way I looked and felt. I wanted to be done being the fat chick in the group. My motivation and my measuring stick was that T could not put his arms all the way around my waist when he hugged me (he was 10 and small). I loved losing the inches and the weight and measuring by hugs how close I was to achieving the goal of getting those little arms around me. I set my weight loss goal for 100 pounds. I didn't get there, but I was pretty close; at my lowest weight I was down 81 lbs.
Then I got cocky and thought I could do it myself. I quit paying and attending meetings. I half-heartedly kept at the plan - the eating and the exercising - but the weight crept back on. Then I had that knee joint replacement surgery and the exercising part went away and so did the watching what I ate. I didn't gain back all 80 pounds, but I was heading that way, so I joined WW again a couple of years ago. Since then I've lost about 20 lbs but it has been a rough go. I don't exercise like I did the first time around. I'm not as militant and ferocious about what I eat. T is big now and has long arms that easily wrap around me, so I lost my measuring stick and though I want to lose weight, I lack the necessary motivation, so I've really been thinking a lot about a way to persuade myself that WW is a good idea.
I think I figured it out.
You know I turned 50 on Sunday. I used to think 50 was OLD, but now that I am 50, I don't think that anymore! I do think old is around the corner and up the road though. I want to be one of those ladies where you look at them and you can't quite figure out how old they are. They look fit and like they have their act together. I want to be active and have a little muscle tone and some trim to my body. I want to walk on my own power and since I have this crappy arthritis, I need to take care of my knees and relieve some of the pressure on them that is due to the weight.
I'm pretty sure that my weight will always be a struggle for me. I have to be conscious of what I eat all the time. I have to tell myself to break a sweat every day, or at least most days. I believe it's worth it though. I think this time around it's less about what I want and more about what I don't want. I don't want to be on medications. I don't want my doctor to look at me and tell me, "You've got to drop some weight." I would much rather hear him say, "Wow! You have lost some weight. Good for you!"
Anyway...this post turned out to be a lot longer and much more like a therapy session than I expected. That's okay. I guess it's been on my mind a lot these past few days and out it came, right here on the screen.
I do feel pretty good about how it's been going this week. I've been conscientious about what I'm eating (even with that rum cake in the fridge!). I've been planning my meals and tracking what I eat. I'm getting in some activity: I went to the gym on Monday for a good cycling session and yesterday I walked all around Red Butte Garden. Today I haven't done anything. I guess I'll call it a rest day.
Speaking of rest, I need to get better at going to bed much closer to 10 than to 11. I blame day light savings time. It doesn't get dark here until almost 9:30, so if I'm out and about, I lose track of time. Last night it was after 9 when I got home and I was excited about the photos I took and had to download them and then it was 11:30. Brutal to have the sky get light around 5:30 in the morning and my alarm tell me to get up. Summer time. I love it but it wears me out.