#2726 wellness Wednesday

When I was on vacation, I took a break from the constant news cycle. Yes, I looked at Facebook and Instagram, and I was on Twitter occasionally, but not for very long.  Mostly I went on those platforms to post photos, and maybe to get a snippet of what was happening in the world. The break was a good thing for me, in lots of ways, not the least of which was a reprieve from the constant barrage of news and opinions and rhetoric.

Since coming home, I have been deliberate about what I look at and what I engage in. One day I was sitting in the office, and I realized that I felt happy. I felt present and satisfied with my life. Sadly, it had been awhile since I'd felt those feelings. As I and wont to do, I started thinking about what was driving the good vibes so I could continue riding the wave. I came up with a few things, and one of them was that I wasn't spending so much time with the news. It's not that I am unaware of what is happening, but I haven't taken the time to immerse myself in all of it. I get the gist, file it away, and move on. I'm not saying this is a good thing, but it's good for me right now.

All that being said, there was no way to avoid yesterday's news about the school shooting in Texas. 18 little kids and two teachers were murdered at school. It was just two days before the start of their summer vacation. Remember when you were in fourth grade and how awesome the end of the school year was and how you couldn't wait for summer vacation to start? I bet a bunch of those kids had fun plans with their families. I bet they were looking forward to running through the sprinklers or going to pool on a hot Texas day. Some kids were probably going to visit their grandparents or go camping, maybe even going to Disneyland or something. 

Now their moms and dads are devastated by their loss. Those moms and dads kissed those little kids yesterday morning and sent them to school, and now they will never get to kiss their babies again. I weep for those families. I wonder if there will ever again be a time in our country when these shootings don't happen regularly. 

Did  you know that today is the 145th day of 2022 and that there have been 212 acts of gun violence that have killed or injured more than four people at a time in the United States? 145 days, 212 "mass" shootings. Yes, I realize that many of these shootings are probably gang-related or domestic disputes, but 212 in 145 days? I'd like to think America is better than this, but these numbers are awful. 

I know Americans love their guns. I understand that the vast majority of gun owners in this country would not commit acts of mass violence and that other than the gun thing, they are probably reasonable, cool people. I don't own any guns. I don't think I've ever even held a gun, much less shot one. I don't have any desire whatsoever for any of that. I don't understand the allure of the gun culture. I can't understand why a person would want or need to have multiple safes full of guns, but I personally

know people who do have those things. 

I was watching the news a bit today, and I found myself crying, and I could feel myself at a tipping point of sorts, where if I didn't stop the flow of information, I might not be able to stop crying and I'd find myself in a state of depression. So...in this time of grief, sadness, and outrage, I have to protect myself a little by focusing on the good things around me, even if they are little dumb things that don't mean anything to anyone but me. Gratitude for a glass of wine while I sit on the deck in the back yard, or freshly painted toenails, or a nice cup of coffee in the morning. No, it doesn't take away the pain that I feel, and I'm not trying to minimize the bad news. I'm only trying to get through the best way I can. 

Take care of yourselves the best way you can.