#934 on my own

Yesterday I wandered around Kohls for a little while. I tried on a bunch of clothes and bought a few things.

Here's the bad part: the clothes were a larger size than I have been wearing. It is pretty depressing. But just like I lost all that weight by myself (with guidance from WW), I gained weight by myself, too. What I know about myself is that I like to eat and I usually choose food that isn't necessarily low in fat and calories. I am also a bit lazy. Another thing I know about myself is that I have a pretty strong willpower and when I set my mind to something, I usually can get it done.

So I'm setting my mind on taking better care of myself, making better choices, burning some fat and calories through exercise and getting myself back into the clothes I want to be wearing, not the new ones I have purchased because the others don't fit well.

Guess what else? I'm doing this on my own. I cancelled my WW membership about a month ago. I was tired of paying them and gaining weight. It wasn't their fault. I wasn't following the plan. I was on the program since 2008 - nearly five years! I just think that I need to be on my own for a little while and figure things out. I know the WW philosophy and the program, and I'll work it out.

Do you think I'm dumb to quit the program? I've questioned myself a lot about it. I just felt like the reasons I had for going there in the first place had changed and I have to come to an understanding with myself now, after I've lost weight and gained some back. Does that make sense?

One of the things I need to do for myself is to get more sleep. So to that end, I'm going to have lights out by 10:30 Sunday through Thursday. (I think I mentioned this in another post.) So since it's 9:55 PM right now, I'm going to say good-night.