Thursday, July 28, 2016

#1727 three things: politics, the man-child and weight loss struggles

Three things:

1. Oops! I didn't write last night because I was watching the Democratic National Convention. Last week I watched the Republican National Convention. I think it's important to know what both sides are saying in order to make a very important decision. I follow so many different news sources on Facebook and Twitter, it's kind of overwhelming. I also follow both Trump and Clinton and I recently added Gary Johnson to my Twitter feed. Johnson is the Libertarian candidate for the presidency.

Of course I didn't get to see Donald Trump's speech last Thursday since I was watching James Taylor sing in concert, but I did read the whole speech the next day.

I'm watching the DNC right now too and I wanted to write before Clinton gives her acceptance speech, so here I am.

2. T is on his way to visit his grandparents in California. He's 18 now; this may be the last summer visit since he's big now. I'm glad that he will have a chance to spend a few days with my parents. I'm glad that he agreed to go. I wasn't sure if he would go because he is very close with his friends (as most of us are at 18). One of the things I love about T is his kind heart and his loyalty to his friends and family. He's a good kid.

What will MT and I do while T is in California? Nothing much different than we do when he is here, really. T spends so much time away from home - at work or with his pals - that MT and I have become used to hanging out with together, just the two of us. It's the circle of life, isn't it? MT and I were together for many years before T was born. It was just the two of us for a long time. Then we had T and he became the focus of our life, maybe too much so if you ask T. That's what happens when you're an only child, I think. You get the full, complete and undivided attention of your parents which can be good and bad I guess.

For me, the transition of T from a child to a young man has been difficult. I have always tried to keep my own interests and hobbies but T's success and growth was my number one priority. He and I did lots of things together and as he has grown up and away a little, it's been hard on me, even though it is how we raised him. Of course I expect him to grow up and be a strong independent man, but between you and me, I miss my little boy. :)

3. I'm struggling with my weight loss journey. I am on such a yo-yo pattern right now. I lost about two and a half pounds a couple of weeks ago, then I gained half a pound the next week and gained another pound and a half last week. I just seem to flex my willpower muscle. I've been exercising regularly but I've also been eating without much thought most days. I try to plan my meals and track them with my WW app and sometimes I am good at it and follow my plan but lots of times I cave into my cravings. I regularly let what I want right now get in the way of what I want.

Last week while I was sitting in the WW meeting, I thought a lot about quitting the program (again). I just don't know if I can do it. I want to lose the weight, but I don't know if I'm strong enough to do it. Sigh. There, I've said it. I don't think of myself as a quitter so it's hard to even think this way. I just don't know how to turn myself around anymore.

Okay that's all I've tonight. I'm worn out. See ya tomorrow.

1 comment:

emtes said...

I so understand your thoughts about T. I think all mothers have them ;-) And I'm afraid it get even worse when they move. When you don't have the day to day conversation with them and you can't and shouldn't be a part of their life as you used to.
That means you appreciate and love every moment you can be around them, gather them, talk to them more like equals than mother and sons. That's why it's, for me, so important to have my mother-sondays with each and every one of them. To catch up, to sit and talk in peace and quiet with nothing that disturbs. And also to gather the whole family like when I take them on cruises and so on.

I miss it having them here but I would never ever let them live with us again. Once they are out and on their own that is how it should be.

My mother heart is now longing for a grandchild but you can't push that. It's up to them :-)

And about the weight loss - you have done an amazing job! There are times in your life when you struggle and you don't get the reward you think you should have considering what you have done. You are so good in excercising every day. I know I have the same struggles with weight issues and it's not funny :-( I heat healthy and make good choices but gain and that is because I don't excercise because of pain and inflammations. Some days I can't even walk more than a couple of hundred meters and some days I walk 6 km. I try as much as I can but I also have to listen to my body.
But if you want to and you think it helps you stay on the programme! I wonder do you have Itrim in SLC? It's a very succesful program here in Sweden with a bit different think than WW. My grandchild is working at a center here in Stockholm.I looked it up and it seems you have in the USA at least in California.

Good luck with everything and have a nice weekend. Love you
Aunt Mia