#1972 who inspires you?

Earlier this year I bought myself a little book from Amazon called Q&A a Day 5 Year Journal.

It has been a fun little book. I do mostly write in it every day, unless I forget, like I did over the Thanksgiving break. Some of the questions are easy, some are more thought-provoking, sometimes the response is to fill in the blank. Today's question was "Who inspires you?" I thought about it for a minute and I actually came up with three people who inspire me. I decided to share my response here because I know that all three people read this little corner of the internet. Maybe this isn't the right place to share this answer, but then again maybe it is the best place. When I wrote my answer in the book and I read back over it, I just thought that these people should know that I feel this way about them, so here it is.

Who inspires you?

My dad, for his will and determination.

My mom, for her ability to adapt and cope.

My sister, for her independence, her kindness and her courage. 

My dad has been ill for several years. He has some serious medical issues that have put him in the hospital several times including having to undergo a couple of surgeries. The first surgery wound up being a life-changer for both of my parents. The surgery made my dad dependent on my mom's care, and turned my mom into a full-time care-giver well before she probably ever expected to be one.

After that first operation, when the surgeon came out into the waiting area to tell my mom, my sister and I about the surgery, I really felt that he was preparing us for the worst - for the possibility that my dad would not survive. It was a tense and frightening time and though it was a struggle, Dad pulled through. He's had some ups and downs since then, but he is a tough ol' bugger. He seems determined to make the best of his situation. His will to, well, live, is inspiring.

I think of how just a week ago or so I was writing that I wouldn't survive a zombie apocalypse because a little cold slays me. Since then I have often thought of my dad and his inner strength, will and determination. He's been through so much worse than a little cold and is still kicking. He's amazing.

Mom grew up in Barcelona, Spain. She married fairly young and moved to a small farming community in northern California. Not exactly Hollywood or Malibu that she may have dreamed about as a young woman. Soon enough there was a baby and a move to an even smaller farming community in southeastern Idaho, of all places. Another baby came along and another move to another farming community in southeastern Idaho. She stayed home with us kids until we were old enough to take care of ourselves a little bit. She learned to drive, got a teaching degree and had a remarkable career as a kindergarten teacher in Idaho and then in southern California. She had just retired when Dad got sick, and as I mentioned, the surgery turned her into a full-time care-giver. It hasn't been easy, I know. I expect that both of my parents were hoping and planning to do some traveling in their retirement, but things happen and circumstances change.

I know that these last few years have been hard on her, for different reasons than they've been hard on Dad, but certainly no less difficult. Mom has had to take on some medical responsibilities for my Dad that I'm sure she never in her wildest dreams imagined she would have to do. She's actually an expert on his care; when Dad has to go to the hospital, none of the nurses know how to take care of his wound. Over the years Mom has pretty much perfected the technique for caring for Dad's particular wound. Both of my parents had settled into a comfortable routine prior to Dad's illness and that routine has gone right out the window. They definitely have a new routine now.

I'm inspired by my mom because through it all, she has adapted to the changes in her life and somehow copes. I know that sometimes she feels sad and anxious and maybe a little depressed about the situation. Who wouldn't? I admire her resilience and patience - yes, Mom, your patience. You demonstrated patience through 20 plus years of teaching five year old kids, and you show patience now with Dad and medical professionals and insurance companies and life.

Finally, there's my sister. About a year and a half ago, she made the decision to end a long-term relationship. That seems like it would be a scary thing to do and I know she did not make the decision lightly or without spending a lot of time making sure it was the right thing for her. She completely changed her living situation by moving into an apartment in downtown San Diego, a city she had lived in for many years, but with a very different lifestyle and home environment. In the past year, I have watched her blossom as she came back into herself, in a manner of speaking. Most people who are in relationships tend to lose a part of themselves to that relationship, and Lizzie had the courage to find herself again, to figure out what she enjoys and to do it. Through it all, she has shown kindness and compassion to her ex and has also nurtured beautiful relationships with friends. She is an amazing daughter who takes time at least once a month to go up to our parent's house to visit with them and to try to help where she can. I'm inspired by the courage that Lizzie showed in ending the relationship. I'm inspired by her independence: to live a lifestyle that she chose and that she enjoys. I'm definitely inspired by her kindness and compassion for our parents and for the friendships she has formed with "her tribe". It's a beautiful thing to see.

Mom, Dad and Lizzie, I love you all so much. I miss you every day. Thank you for inspiring me to be a better wife, mother and friend.