#2680 watching from afar

As I mentioned in a previous post, my (ex) brother-in-law passed away last week. He and MT’s sister had three children, all adults now, who are grieving in their own ways. I have only seen my nephew, Chris, and I could tell that he was sad and shocked. I also know that Chris is a responsible man who will take his role as executor seriously and make sure the estate is divided properly. 

It saddened me to read a post on Facebook written by the spouse of my niece. The spouse basically said that the family had “decided they didn’t want” my niece, and that the family wouldn’t listen to anything my niece had to say about what she thought her dad would have wanted. The comments, of course, were all pro-niece and anti-family. 

It’s so easy to stick up for your friend and to think that everyone is out to get her. I don’t believe that’s true. I believe that is what my niece is telling her wife is happening, because I’m sure that’s what my niece really thinks is happening. Of course, there are two sides to every story, and my niece is not the only person who lost their dad that day. Everyone deals with grief differently. As I read the mean comments from my niece’s friends, all I could wish is that all those commenters would give a bit of grace to my other niece and my nephew as they are both also grieving the death of a parent.

I don’t have any first-hand knowledge about how my nieces and nephew are handling the situation. I’m reading stuff on FB and hearing from MT what his mom is seeing. I can imagine, though, that there will be some bumpy roads ahead while the estate is settled. There’s a bit of money involved, not over a million dollars, but probably more money than maybe was expected. Certainly potentially more than any of the three siblings have ever had. 

I’m so thankful that my dad and mom had the foresight to plan for what they wanted and to let Lizzie and I know those plans.  The business of death is intense because there is so much “business” to handle on top of the grieving that is happening simultaneously. Lizzie and Mom handled all of that business with dignity and grace. 

Sending all love and kind thoughts to Chris, Britt, and Hannah.